Key challenged to shear sheep

And he's coming over the top of the back now, gently does it. Oh dear, he's left a layer of wool on, a softer coat, but now he's back, he's plunging that handpiece over the sheep's belly, mind the nipples John!

But wait he's showing marvelous adaptation to the skill of shearing, he's getting into his stride now, he's tucked that sheep tight between his legs and he's showing it who's boss.

Down he goes, the last blows, then flick on to it's feet, a kick on the backside and a note pushed between the sheep's teeth.

"There," he says. "He's all ready. Finely shorn, and now with super speed...please applaud your Government's state of the art new investment in rural communication...the messenger sheep."

Broadband of lies around National election promises to rural sector

I'm not sure why Federated Farmers are surprised by the Government's lack of broadband spending in rural areas - it was always unlikely to happen.

Despite our 64% export sales injection into the economy the votes are in the city centres and call me a cynic but no Government is going to divvy up money in areas that are sparsely populated.

Imagine though what could be achieved if the electoral voting system was changed and you were given a number of votes depending on the amount of land you owned. Wouldn't they sit up and take notice then? Bugger the broadband - we'd all have digital satellites!

Strange though isn't it, that a Government that is always harping on about growing the economy, in fact using it as their mantra, can't see it's way to providing better communication for our rural businesses.

And as for the West Coast receiving no upgrade - yet still growing economically - they should separate themselves off, put a border up and provide their own governance. After all they are one of the only areas in the country still going ahead - so they must be doing something right!

The big three advise Government spending on rural broadband

Common sense prevails - a phrase you wouldn't necessarily attribute to our top three telecommunication companies, following the release of a combined report on the proposed $1.5 billion Government spend-up on improving broadband services.

Public policy advisers Castalia, working for Telecom, Vodafone and Telstra Clear reckon the telecommunication companies long term network investment is sufficient for most New Zealanders' and any Government money might be a waste.

However, for those of you long suffering rural surfers who either a) wait ten minutes to load a web page and give up or b) pay a small fortune on a satellite connection, there is good news.

The report states there is proven value in spending money in rural areas, schools and hospitals where the current market is not delivering, and let's face it, will never deliver.

So while the debate rages about whether the Government should invest in broadband for all, or keep some of the money for other projects, our rural sector can rejoice.

It looks as though, at long last we may be about to see the first technological investment in our communication systems since the days when party lines became push button phones and conversations became private!